Do you have Tiger’s Fire Hydrant on eBay?

Apparently Tiger Wood’s misadventures with a fire hydrant outside his home has spawned a veritable business in trash and unsubstantiated reporting in the media. So, I am thinking of investing on the future worth of that unfortunate fire hydrant.

“Could Tiger Woods be looking at a $100 million fender-bender?”, screamed the opening line of an article by AdvertisingAge, an online news portal (no, I am not going to link this). The report goes on to “report” a lot of unsubstantiated news, speculations and what-if stories about Tiger, and the fallout arising from his accident.

News cycles and readers’ attention span are so short these days that the media, including the stalwarts of main media (such as the venerable Times of London) , are reduced to repeating and reporting the “news” by trash purveyors such as those of the National Inquirer ilk. Which just goes to show the appeal to the media to feed the general population’s (that’s us, boys and girls) fascination with the celebrities and high-profile personalities, not only of their achievements but their foibles and fall from grace. While we rejoice and celebrate their successes that we ourselves don’t even dare to dream to want, we are reminded, and we feel we are one with them when people like Tiger are shown to be mere mortals with feet of clay and a wandering lust to boot (never mind the fact he can win a golf major on one good leg). And while we have our moments, there are times when our spouse, lover, relatives or friends would like do nothing less that set one of Saddam’s retired Fedayeen upon us. As Tony Montana (aka Al Pacino) in Scarface said, “You need people like me so you can point your fucking fingers and say, ‘That’s the bad guy.’

Call us “voyeuristic or unbalanced” because of this fascination but hey, even the British Journal of Psychology have this to say: “Celebrity worship for intense-personal reasons is associated with poorer mental heath and this relationship can be understood within the dimensions of neuroticism and a coping style that suggests disengagement.”

So while the media is having a field day with Tiger Wood, if anyone have a line on the fire hydrant, please email me.

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