Football : Learn from NFL

Thierry Henry’s blatant handball have sent France to South Africa. Now, 11 Les Blues led in the forward line by a cheat will be going to play in the World Cup. If Maradona’s god is in South Africa, and he is in a ironic mood, France may just win the Cup.

According to the Times, FIFA will soon deliberate on using video technology in football so that fouls and “goals” can be reviewed and presumably decided upon. Well, good for them. If I have a Ringgit for every time this has been spewed from the mouths of football administrators and fans alike, I would be now rubbing shoulders with billionaire Roman Abramovich in his yacht and have a delectable Dasha Zhukova-lookalike as arm decoration as well.

Remember Michel Platini, the UEFA Football president? He used to be vocal about the game when he was a player. Now he is a slothful dinosaur together with the other FIFA starchy bottoms. He was with the Les Blues in World Cup ’86 in Mexico and he, among millions others, anguished over Maradona’s Hand of God goal. Now he, in cahoots with Sepp Blather, FIFA head honcho and the Kaiser, Franz Beckenbauer, (Franz, West Germany could have won England ’66 if Geoff Hurst’s goal was disallowed by video technology) is resisting all this. I say, learn from NFL Football. It ain’t controversial, is it? A particular incident can be challenged and viewed on video action replay in less time than it takes for the football players to demonstrate their latest invention of asinine goal celebrations.

And while FIFA decides on the use of video evidence, I would like for them to decide that a football match be split in 30-minutes thirds somewhat akin to the NFL quarters. Think about it FIFA, you can monetize the 5 minutes break of play with prime time TV adverts; heck, you could be rolling in more of the green shit. Many matches are so painfully boring as managers can’t change their instructions until the 45 minutes is up. Meanwhile, the players keep banging their shins against a hard wall with the same unsuccessful tactics…and the manager is shitting bricks, or praying “Hail Marys“.

UPDATE (3rd Dec, 2009): I told you they were a bunch of starchy-bottomed dinosaurs. Sepp Blather refused. “Football turned its back on calls for technological aids for referees yesterday as Sepp Blatter, the Fifa president, declared that the game must never lose its “human face”.”


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