Ah, I wish they would do that here. I mean, making pot legal.
Marijuana (a.k.a, cannabis, though I don’t like that name – rhymes too close for comfort with “rabies”), according the arbiter of all worldy truths, Wikipedia, can cause euphoria. (Wink, wink – some of you who have read my early posts probably know that I have been to Amesterdam.) Man, I need, I pine for euphoria, what with all the hubbub in the news, streets and blogosphere: sure snatch the joie de vivre out of us, Malaysians. Do I see heads nodding?
And, oh ya, pot can induce temporary short-term memory loss – which is exactly what I need every working day too. You see, I commute to work and every time, the traffic (one kid, one car) is backed up all the way from Likas All Saints School junction to the Batu 5 traffic light. That’s not the worst of it; there is this fuck-faced of a driver of a Hilux (driving two small kids) that is always jumping the queue by driving in the breakdown lane all the way, and then cutting you off as if he is Mr. Right and owns JPJ. If I don’t forget about Mr. Fuck Face soon enough, I will bring the rageiest (is that a word?) road rage to office, and my nice PA could become the mangsa (victim) as I go postal. Or the motor-mouthed DJs at hitz.FM blaring out of my car stereo, who are always choking advice, advice, advice with a 3-feet ladle down our puny throats. Or the pimply pasty-faced teens at the McDonald who I suspect their supervisor feeds with Prozac since they are always grinning…even when they take your order, and then screwing it all up later. Or the….man, I have serious anger management issues.
The docs say long-term marijuana consumption can cause schizophrenia. Well, that’s great! When I am old and suffering from terminal Alzheimer (what am I saying? Alzheimer is always terminal), if I don’t remember that ancient sagging mug staring back in the mirror, I can always slip into my other personality, you know, the one who thinks he is hunkier that that Twilight’s faintly-gay guy. That is, if I can manage my pot-induced bipolar disorder, and alternately be happy or depressed about my outsized prostrate..and the galaxy of liver spots.
Or the son of Mr. Fuck Face.